"What? Caught feelings?" He figures that's what he's asking and he heaves a sigh, fingers carding through his hair as he looks away for a moment. "Yeah," he starts. "He's not here anymore though." He's still dealing with that, especially when he'd been his first love and all.
Sigh on his lips, he drops his hand out of his hair to the bed. "There's a couple others I care about... love, in my own way, just." He shakes his head, teeth dragging over his bottom lip as he looks ahead. "I'm really fucking difficult to get involved with. Some days I want it and other days I don't. It's why I need some place like this for myself. When I feel like I'm on the verge of being self-destructive. It's not fair to them and sometimes I catch myself getting in that mood, but. Not always."
When you've been treated a certain way for being Different — when your own parents didn't want you and there might have been a bit of abuse involved there, it doesn't help with a lot of the way he is with certain things.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2022-10-03 04:30 pm (UTC)Sigh on his lips, he drops his hand out of his hair to the bed. "There's a couple others I care about... love, in my own way, just." He shakes his head, teeth dragging over his bottom lip as he looks ahead. "I'm really fucking difficult to get involved with. Some days I want it and other days I don't. It's why I need some place like this for myself. When I feel like I'm on the verge of being self-destructive. It's not fair to them and sometimes I catch myself getting in that mood, but. Not always."
When you've been treated a certain way for being Different — when your own parents didn't want you and there might have been a bit of abuse involved there, it doesn't help with a lot of the way he is with certain things.