"I like the idea of it. But once I'm actually in it, I last a year or two and then..." He gestures with a hand at the door; a year or so of trying and then he bolts.

"And especially here, I just don't see how adding that kind of mess could help me. Help anyone I was attached to. Some people make it work, but I've never been one of them. And that's okay."

It's okay, too, that John doesn't want things complicated more than they already are for him.