"No," he can say with certainty. He felt angry, when he lied to Joshi that first time; terrified, maybe. A myriad of things, but not special.

"I went rogue because it was the only thing I could see to do. The only thing that was right. I know it was right, but I also know - I knew at the time - it was against everything I'd ever done up to then. Everything I was."

But not, in the end, because he was special. "I just got confused for a while in the middle. It was stupid, and I suppose I knew that too."