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hippie_ninja

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From:

hippie_ninja

"My mom left me for the first time when I was three. I don't remember it much, but probably it started then." He says it with a lopsided, resigned smile. It's been with him his entire life, is what he's saying.

From:

konstant

"Was there ever anyone you trusted? Anyone you knew wouldn't do that to you?"

K's too, but he doesn't try to compare them. He was never a child, never three years old, never had parents - even though he remembers all of that on a truncated timeline, too.

From:

hippie_ninja

His expression flickers, just the tiniest bit, betraying just the smallest hint of a pain that doesn't ever quite heal.

"No." Never anyone who stayed. "There were kind people along the way. But no one who stuck it out."

From:

konstant

K smiles back, a bittersweet expression of his own along the same vein.

"For me, either," he does offer then. They're both starting from scratch. They're both batting a thousand.

From:

hippie_ninja

"We're doing pretty good, considering." He reaches up, touches K's cheek. "You are."

From:

konstant

"We are," he agrees, emphasis ever so slightly on the we.

He reaches, too, to set his fingers along the back of Jesus's hand on his face.

"Are you okay with everything that happened during the festival?" Which is a slightly different question than are you okay.

From:

hippie_ninja

He considers it and all the implications. "Yes. I loved being with you, K. I would want to do everything we did again. Are you okay with it?"

From:

konstant

"I love that you loved it."

Which is perhaps not a great answer. He turns it a slightly different way: "The fear is back. I could've been retired for being a replicant taking advantage of a human from a position of authority. I don't know how to get back to that place, but I like thinking about what happened."

From:

hippie_ninja

"We were in the same position. Vrenille was neutral." So in Jesus's case, at least, there's nothing K could have been retired for.

From:

konstant

"Sweeting," K murmurs, turning his head, kissing his palm. "You're human."

Which doesn't mean anything to people from worlds where humans are the only creatures that have laws, that obey social structures in cities and systems.

"Any replicant caught out of line with any human has retirement to fear, if things go wrong, or just change."

From:

hippie_ninja

It's like being tugged in two very different directions, hearing that endearment and how it always makes him anime, and what K is saying and what that means for them. For every possible way K can interpret things.

"But you are here," he points out, processing. "Which means you trust that things won't go that way with me."

From:

konstant

"I trust that if you change your mind, you won't take it out on me," he agrees.

"I trust that if you want me here, you'll tell me, and if you don't, you'll tell me. I trust you."

Enough to follow him into a contracting process that he doesn't trust at all.

From:

hippie_ninja

In most respects, Jesus is a very trustworthy person. He's loyal, but he's honest; he'll tell you what he thinks, and what he wants, even if he knows it's unpopular.

But K is a different sort of friend. K is a friend he is more and more romantically involved with, and that's where Jesus tends to falter. But K trusts him.

K trusts him, with something that goes straight to the core of who K is.

He leans up and kisses him again, this time with so much emotion he can't even speak through it. So he kisses him to try to express even a tiny bit of the gratitude and the affection and the fierce determination he has to not let K down.

From:

konstant

It could be overwhelming if K let it, honestly. What he can read like Jesus is shouting at him in the moments before he's kissing him again, the intensity pressing through the lines of him as they lean together, and the staggering relief of realizing that Jesus understands exactly what K is saying - the magnitude if not the details - are all almost just a bit too much.

But he stands under it regardless, hands resting lightly at the other man's hips, and he sinks into that kiss too, taking his time to take some comfort in being seen.

"Thank you," he murmurs, staying close.

From:

hippie_ninja

"Are we going to get in trouble if you stay tonight?" He murmurs, because it's a risk, it's near the end of the month and their free nights have surely been spent. But he wants K here. He wants to keep him close, as if that can make his promise more sturdy.

From:

konstant

"No." He'd stay anyway, because it's the kind of thing he's already lost patience for as far as he's concerned, but this answer happens to be true:

"I stayed with Sara all month. Just the one other night with you."

From:

hippie_ninja

The memory of that night makes him smile, makes him steal another quick kiss, but it's almost an apology. "I'm...I'm pretty worn out from the festival, I don't think tonight will be anything like that night. I just want you close."

From:

konstant

"Sex isn't even close to the reason I'd want to stay," he chuckles, smoothing hair back from Jesus's face - even if his smile quirks playful, too: "Although you're doing an excellent job of converting me."

He tips his head towards the couch anyway. "What can I do to help?"

From:

hippie_ninja

"Good because I'm going to try to lure you over here for it sometime," he promises with a grin. He leads him to the couch where he sits with a sigh. He's sore from fighting in the last part of the fog, too.

"Help me take care of Nibbles? I need to get him out of his sweater for the night. He'll just sleep upstairs with us--he likes the blankets."

From:

konstant

K starts to get back up in anticipation of needing to change water or put out food, but then he hears what Jesus wants him to do and he folds down to sit next to him, too.

"Nibbles," he calls, soft, with a gentle chuffing sound that brings the cat's ears up from a dead sleep. A few moments later he stretches to his feet and then comes trotting amicably over to investigate K's lap.

And K straightens out his sweater, smiling with simple, wordless pleasure as he rubs the cat's ears.

"He looks wa," is his final assessment. "Thank you for taking care of him. I had to leave Janus with Sara for now."

From:

hippie_ninja

Nibbles is a friendly, responsive cat, but he reacts to K much faster than he ever does when Jesus calls him, and Jesus smiles to watch them.

"Janus?" He knows about Mango, but he's only been to K's place with Sara once. He doesn't recall any other furry little companions there; all the puppies had food names.

From:

konstant

K doesn't look up from Nibbles for more than a moment, letting him sniff his hand and decide to rub against it in his own time. This is when he starts working out how best to pull the sweater off as asked.

"Did I not show you him?" He does glance up now. "He's going to turn into a butterfly."

From:

hippie_ninja

Nibbles is growing used to the process of undressing and dressing, and butts his head against K's hands, tugging against him to help get the sweater off.

"No, you didn't," Jesus is smiling, his eyes warm. "You have a caterpillar for a pet?"

From:

konstant

"He's in a cocoon now." K hesitates a moment, brow furrowing: "I don't actually know that Janus is a male, but the name could go both ways."

He shakes his head, smoothing down the fine, short hair that does actually cover Nibbles' skin to make sure it's not bothering him after the sweater. "I was told the cold might harm him, and that if I gave him a safe place to metamorphosize, he could be released when it's warm again. I have pictures."

From:

hippie_ninja

"I want to see them." He's never considered having one as a pet. He's never considered having a pet at all until K asked him to watch over Nibbles, but 'caterpillar' wouldn't even feature on the imagined list.

At least not until he sees k talking about it, about the little bug he named.