He sighs, and he nudges K to follow him, to walk with him around the property. "I know... I know she's had a hard time since Dinah and Jacob have been gone. Is it about the contract?"
K comes up to his feet willingly, pulling his shirt back on after dunking it in the creek now that he's not as hot from the work.
But he has to shake his head. "She doesn't talk to me much." Certainly not about that. "It's not how the mod works. I can attach the feelings she has for the work she's doing here because she's told me about it. I know what combination of things ties back to you because I've seen you together. Other than things like that, I'm guessing blind."
Almost as an afterthought, he offers, "She has brown eyes."
It's another statement that gets kind of an odd look from K, both because he can say otherwise - although he agrees it's probably not intentional - and because he hasn't gotten to know Rosita. She has made it blatantly clear that she is not interested in him getting to know her.
They're friends. They've been friends for a long time. K hedges again, rubbing his thumb through the condensation on the outside of his water bottle.
"Maybe I shouldn't have said anything." Maybe it isn't his business.
"What I can do - it's not mindreading, but especially when people don't know that I can do it, it's a bit like telling their secrets without them knowing. That's what it's for. To pull out secrets." And Rosita is not necessarily a secretive person, but she is a private one.
"But she's either lying to herself, or choosing to ignore a lot of things that are still going to come out anyway."
K nods towards where he was working on the fields.
"I was just hoping that maybe getting some of this done would help with some kind of... peace." He returns his attention to Jesus. "But I think she just adds something else to the list. That's... the best I can say, without asking her other questions."
He's searching Jesus's face now. "Does any of this make sense?"
"It does. And I'm glad you told me. I think she tries to... Hide some things she feels from me to make things easier on me." Which he understands but it's not the right way to do things here.
She loves the man in black he's seen around her before too. Loves. But it's not what she prefers to show, or at least the way she does show it isn't the same as most.
"She's smart about other people." She's watchful, and she doesn't miss much. He's watched her pick out the same most likely threat in a space as he has.
"But I've watched her... Choose not to let it mean what it means when she notices something."
"You mean when it's about Carver?" He knows she holds him as far at a distance as she can manage, that she sometimes lies to herself about what his gestures mean even when they're clear.
"With you... She's not afraid of you. She's afraid that me loving you will hurt me." Because K is so gentle, and willing to take so much abuse to keep being kind.
"Well -" he starts to answer, until he catches himself and stops. What he'd said isn't entirely true: he has been advantageous to people like Joshi before.
"I, personally, haven't factored in. I've been beneficial to my superiors. This is all different." Unless it's not. See: digging a tunnel.
"I know. It's different for me, too--maybe not in the same ways, but this is new. What we have is new to me, too." And frightening, his wavery smile says. But he's here and he's trying and he wants this. "I'm happy when we're just being together. Just existing, the ways that we are."
no subject
Date: 2023-06-22 03:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-06-22 03:33 am (UTC)But he has to shake his head. "She doesn't talk to me much." Certainly not about that. "It's not how the mod works. I can attach the feelings she has for the work she's doing here because she's told me about it. I know what combination of things ties back to you because I've seen you together. Other than things like that, I'm guessing blind."
Almost as an afterthought, he offers, "She has brown eyes."
no subject
Date: 2023-06-22 03:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-06-22 03:37 am (UTC)"They're harder to measure and read than light eyes. Harder to be sure of."
He is, nonetheless, sure of what he says.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-22 06:33 pm (UTC)"Tell me what's wrong? What you've seen?"
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Date: 2023-06-22 06:38 pm (UTC)They're friends. They've been friends for a long time. K hedges again, rubbing his thumb through the condensation on the outside of his water bottle.
"Maybe I shouldn't have said anything." Maybe it isn't his business.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-22 06:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-06-22 07:22 pm (UTC)"What I can do - it's not mindreading, but especially when people don't know that I can do it, it's a bit like telling their secrets without them knowing. That's what it's for. To pull out secrets." And Rosita is not necessarily a secretive person, but she is a private one.
"But she's either lying to herself, or choosing to ignore a lot of things that are still going to come out anyway."
no subject
Date: 2023-06-22 10:47 pm (UTC)He doesn't know how honest Rosita is with herself. But he does know she ignores things she shouldn't sometimes.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-22 11:07 pm (UTC)"And she's grieving." He already said the desperation part, and he wishes he could be more specific, but he hasn't gone digging for it.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-22 11:43 pm (UTC)"I think I'll spend the night here," he murmurs.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-22 11:48 pm (UTC)"I was just hoping that maybe getting some of this done would help with some kind of... peace." He returns his attention to Jesus. "But I think she just adds something else to the list. That's... the best I can say, without asking her other questions."
He's searching Jesus's face now. "Does any of this make sense?"
no subject
Date: 2023-06-23 12:19 am (UTC)"I'll check in with her."
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Date: 2023-06-23 12:22 am (UTC)She loves the man in black he's seen around her before too. Loves. But it's not what she prefers to show, or at least the way she does show it isn't the same as most.
"A lot."
no subject
Date: 2023-06-23 12:28 am (UTC)"Did you know she picked up I was falling for you before I knew it?"
no subject
Date: 2023-06-23 12:31 am (UTC)"But I've watched her... Choose not to let it mean what it means when she notices something."
no subject
Date: 2023-06-24 12:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-06-24 12:39 am (UTC)That one's something he's seen directed to himself.
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Date: 2023-06-24 12:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-06-24 12:46 am (UTC)Not the way Rosita is afraid it will, but it has.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-24 12:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-06-24 12:57 am (UTC)"I'm not usually a good addition to anyone's life."
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Date: 2023-06-24 12:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-07-11 04:43 pm (UTC)"I, personally, haven't factored in. I've been beneficial to my superiors. This is all different." Unless it's not. See: digging a tunnel.
no subject
Date: 2023-07-11 05:12 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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