"I am, too. I saw him the day after he moved out, but I haven't since then. I don't go to the Up very often." And V might well be isolating himself. "Good reason to drop in on him though, right?"
It unsettles Jesus, on the other hand. Every day here has a steady rhythm to it and it has sawed away at his already haggard nerves. Every day he has to hold a little tighter to himself to get from sunup to sundown, and every day it feels a little worse.
But even so he's earnest, honest, when he says, "I'm glad." K, at least, seems to be doing so much better than when they first met. "I worried about you."
He doesn't have the same reaction to hearing that someone is worried about him as Jesus had, but it's still strange to hear. He feels better, sometimes, than he did when he got here.
Sometimes he feels like he's still right there in orientation.
"I used to do it all the time. It pulls you back to center--lets you clear your head, calm your emotions." He loves it, has for years. "Only I can't do it here. I can't settle."
He sits on the floor facing K. It feels too odd to sit on the bed with K down here.
"Oh, some counselor when I was a kid recommended it. It didn't work at first because I was impatient. But I kept coming back to it and after a while it helped. It helps with a lot of things--stress, fatigue, pain."
"Nothing else helped, either," he lifts a shoulder. "And I was too young to get my hands on the things other people used to get away from their emotions. You know, no one in my house drank, so that wasn't a reliable escape. Luckily for me. But I could control my breathing when I was trying to fall asleep. The rest came with time."
"I don't mind questions." He minds being yelled at for stealing memories, stealing humanity, even though he didn't have anything to do with it; even though they aren't real human memories.
Well.
"I just don't want to try to tell you about things I remember through the eyes of a child, of a teenager, if it's going to be upsetting."
"Even if they didn't happen, they still are part of you, though, right? They still effect you." So they're real in that sense, real in a way that some of Jesus's long faded memories aren't. K's memories were given to him for a purpose.
"It's new as standard for the Nexus-9s," he tries to explain, opens his mouth to talk about how messy the Nexus-8s are, then stops when he realizes he's not counted as stable anymore.
The corner of his mouth twitches and he looks down, refocusing.
"Because they don't count on how you'll grow into a life they didn't program?" It's his assessment so far. K talked about replicants becoming dangerous if they feel too much, but he's seen K feel a fair amount in their short time here. He's not dangerous.
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Date: 2022-07-28 03:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-07-28 04:03 pm (UTC)"He was worried we'd be in danger being around him now. I'm worried he'll isolate because of it."
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Date: 2022-07-28 04:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-07-28 07:23 pm (UTC)And he will, but K remembers how V had calmed down just with someone else in the room. He's confident that will work out.
"Maybe I'll try to get him to come down to Marked."
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Date: 2022-07-28 09:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-07-28 09:55 pm (UTC)"I will," he promises.
"I like having the job. I like being able to expect something familiar."
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Date: 2022-07-29 01:03 am (UTC)But even so he's earnest, honest, when he says, "I'm glad." K, at least, seems to be doing so much better than when they first met. "I worried about you."
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Date: 2022-07-29 01:43 am (UTC)Sometimes he feels like he's still right there in orientation.
"It's... Easier when I'm around other people."
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Date: 2022-07-29 03:24 am (UTC)If they get to know him a little, they should. They will.
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Date: 2022-07-29 03:43 am (UTC)But what Jesus says has some truth, too.
"Is it like that for you? Harder when all you have to do is think?"
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Date: 2022-07-29 03:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-07-29 03:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-07-29 03:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-07-29 03:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-07-29 04:02 am (UTC)"Oh, some counselor when I was a kid recommended it. It didn't work at first because I was impatient. But I kept coming back to it and after a while it helped. It helps with a lot of things--stress, fatigue, pain."
All things he faced daily, hourly, back home.
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Date: 2022-07-29 04:06 am (UTC)"If it didn't work, why did you keep coming back?"
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Date: 2022-07-29 04:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-07-29 04:25 am (UTC)K has always drank, even though he has memories of a time when he didn't.
"Would it be... Strange to you, for me to talk about memories that aren't mine?"
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Date: 2022-07-29 04:30 am (UTC)"I'd like to hear what it's like. What they are. I'm probably going to have questions."
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Date: 2022-07-29 04:35 am (UTC)Well.
"I just don't want to try to tell you about things I remember through the eyes of a child, of a teenager, if it's going to be upsetting."
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Date: 2022-07-29 04:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-07-29 04:52 am (UTC)"They're installed before activation to help stabilize us, to shape our personalities the way we've been commissioned."
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Date: 2022-07-29 02:46 pm (UTC)Stable replicants don't need a blade runner.
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Date: 2022-07-29 06:25 pm (UTC)The corner of his mouth twitches and he looks down, refocusing.
"There are glitches."
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Date: 2022-07-29 06:27 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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